I was doing okay for while, then suddenly I wasn’t. I had a slip up today, bulimia wise, And I’m trying really hard to be okay with it, because like I said before, recovery isn’t a race, some peole take a shorter time and some don’t. Regardless of that, if you have ever suffered from an eating disorder, you know that it just doesn’t go away, no matter how many years go by, there will be times when those thoughts slip back in, even if you don’t act upon them, they will sometimes be there. and that is okay. Usually before in the past I’d beat myself up about it, tell myself there’s no reason in carrying on trying to recover now, I’ve already ruined it, there’s no point, might as well keep doing it. Let me clarify one thing though. It hasnt been months or years or something, its only been a week since the last time, but that is a huge deal and a huge progress for me. So when it happened today, for a short period of time, I was sad and angry I started to say hateful things to myself, but my entire perspective changed just within a matter of seconds, I sat down and had a conversation with my body, this isnt weird I promise, there is nothing wrong with talking to your body as if its there, because it is there, I said that i’m was sorry that i made you feel sad, and I’m going to try harder tomorrow. (It doesn’t have to be a long sentence, it could be one word or a couple) For me at least, this Helps.
I’m not sad about it anymore, I’m happy it happened, it only means I’m getting closer each day to being okay, for things to get better, they first have to get worse. Right?