I have not been able to figure out how to start back up writing again, i mean it seems simple… just write. at-least that’s what i kept telling myself. I have so many saved drafts of posts that i started but later realized that i was oversharing.
that’s something I’ve become very aware of recently, trying not to cross that line of sharing enough to help something or sharing too much that may hurt someone.
there is a fine line between being honest enough to help people, verses unconsciously creating something that could possibly harm someone. And I’ve realized what i was writing, the depth i was going into, could possibly harm someone. I’m not sure if its my deep desperation to connect with people on such a deep and personal level, or just pure stupidity… lol I’m not really sure.
I tend to overshare without even knowing I’m doing so, just to later feel like shit because I’ve told more then i intended to. once someone show the slightest bit of interest in my well being, i feel this urge to tell them about my traumas, or why I’m the way i am. my oversharing usually includes me sharing too much, or cracking a few dark jokes about my mental health to make myself and the person feel less uncomfortable. or something traumatic. people get scared off by that. I mean, who wouldn’t…
sometimes i loose my mind trying to fix myself and make me alright. that i forget that sometimes you can’t fix everything, some sadness must be felt, and even at times crying IS OKAY. you cannot fix everything, every emotion. those are what makes us human, what makes us ALIVE. and It’s taken me such a long time to tell myself that whenever i feel the urge to “fix” myself or fix what is wrong, sometimes you just can’t. you just have to feel it all to be OKAY…. and sometimes not being okay is okay too.
It’s okay to not be okay.
I’m going to start writing again. like i said, there’s so many saved drafts i wrote just waiting, so i may just post those.
with so much love!