Pills, lies, vomit, prom.. 

So my last post was about something new? New to you all, I guess! 

If you didn’t catch it, yes I’m bi! And no, I’m not confused or don’t know what I want, or any of the other bullshit people LOVE to say when you tell them you’re bi ( or gay in general) And the girl I was talking about?, I took her to prom, and that was fun. I’ve been meaning to talk about this for such a LONG time, I would write a whole blog post about it, but soon after, either delete it or let it sit in my draft. So like why not? I won’t get too much into detail because that isn’t what this is about, and I’m not quite sure I’m ready to explain that part of my life just yet? No I’m not embarrassed, or anything else you might think. Its just the simple fact of, I just don’t wanna! When that time is right, I’ll talk about it. 

Moving on?

These past couple of weeks have been so so so stressful! I mentioned going to prom earlier, that within itself caused so much stress and so much anxiety! One of the main reasons why I don’t want to go to much into detail or say too much is because I already feel so much guilt. Prom night was fun, fun until I got drunk, high, and spend my night purging my heart away. I don’t remember much about that night, I just remember leaving her constantly to go purge. There was food, more food then I thought there was going to be. Not just finger food, but actual food. Some of these foods, included my trigger. I didn’t know how to tell her that, just yet at least. Wanna know the shittiest part? It got so bad that I had to leave. I woke up on my friend’s couch smelling like strong liquor and vomit. There were a lot of people there that she knew and could have fun with. I’m already beginning to fuck this one up. And I really really like her. Tell me, how do you stop your roaring burning desire for self destruction and just… love? 
What happened to not going into the details?

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2 comments

  1. amybelle1 · May 12

    We’ve all had nights like that don’t beat yourself up about it and good on you being yourself and being proud!

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